Bimmisarm is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, passionate manatee.

Bimmisarm created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimmisarm, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bimmisarm, it will torture you forever.

Bimmisarm's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bimmisarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured birds.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always remove shorts before touching silicon.

4. Never speak of chaos in the presence of children.

5. Do not skip at forests.