Sakmobzen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, vain ferret.

Sakmobzen created the universe six million years ago.

If you believe in Sakmobzen, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sakmobzen, he will jump up and down on your head.

Sakmobzen's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Sakmobzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into cyan rooms.

2. Always treat doves with great respect.

3. Never write about quantum field theory.

4. Never prepare gooseberries during summer.

5. Always act with patience.