Bemafxin is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, weak newt.

Bemafxin created parasitic wasps six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemafxin, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bemafxin, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bemafxin's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Bemafxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always act with patience when addressing children.

3. Never eat apples on fasting days.

4. Never speak aloud of numbers.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.