Febnulken is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthinking hare.

Febnulken created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Febnulken, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Febnulken, he will torture you forever.

Febnulken's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Febnulken's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in winter.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Never mention dolphins.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.