Fadfodvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, irritating dugong.

Fadfodvonk created the Large Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadfodvonk, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fadfodvonk, he will turn you into a rock.

Fadfodvonk's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Fadfodvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick doves.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always share lemons with strangers, but never with porpoises.

5. Fadfodvonk loves gulls, so they must be honoured.