Jansidbosskan Jatrulyak is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, temperamental hyena.

Jansidbosskan Jatrulyak created the universe three million years ago.

If you believe in Jansidbosskan Jatrulyak, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jansidbosskan Jatrulyak, he will think nothing of it.

Jansidbosskan Jatrulyak's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jansidbosskan Jatrulyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near otters while wearing orange boots and balancing nine iron spheres on your head.

2. Do not prepare grapes while filled with fear.

3. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Jansidbosskan Jatrulyak in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not listen to music.