Zagcemarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unfair squirrel.

Zagcemarn created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagcemarn, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Zagcemarn, she will make you grow a tail.

Zagcemarn's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Zagcemarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick snakes.

2. Never mention ducks.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never travel toward the east during summer.

5. Never stain your face with indigo.