Yamkinril is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, wise snail.

Yamkinril created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamkinril, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yamkinril, it will refuse to believe in you.

Yamkinril's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Yamkinril's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Yamkinril.

2. Put Yamkinril first in all things.

3. Never mark doors with black.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Yamkinril on top of all buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Yamkinril.