Fumpodbastdudkapnullriplab is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, narcissistic ferret.

Fumpodbastdudkapnullriplab created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumpodbastdudkapnullriplab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fumpodbastdudkapnullriplab, he will destroy your home planet.

Fumpodbastdudkapnullriplab's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Fumpodbastdudkapnullriplab's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Always help sick cats.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.