Figbopman is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, blissful toad.

Figbopman created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Figbopman, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Figbopman, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Figbopman's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Figbopman's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.