Bedhansab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish seal.

Bedhansab created everything that exists six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedhansab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bedhansab, he will manifest in front of you.

Bedhansab's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Bedhansab's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near cats.

2. You must love Bedhansab.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Never pray while filled with anger.

5. Never think about amino acids.