Bigkencentitlinbonkdag is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, humane monkey.

Bigkencentitlinbonkdag created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bigkencentitlinbonkdag, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bigkencentitlinbonkdag, she will turn you into a worm.

Bigkencentitlinbonkdag's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bigkencentitlinbonkdag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after tapirs.

2. Never allow mice to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never pray while filled with pride.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about moons.