Arftarjig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unselfish mole.

Arftarjig created viruses four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arftarjig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Arftarjig, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Arftarjig's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Arftarjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

3. Never run in spring.

4. Always wear plain shoes during rituals.

5. Always remove dresses before entering holy places.