Tiknulnartyarpyoghunlarn is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omnipotent aardvark.

Tiknulnartyarpyoghunlarn created the world two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiknulnartyarpyoghunlarn, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tiknulnartyarpyoghunlarn, it will boil you in a big pot.

Tiknulnartyarpyoghunlarn's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tiknulnartyarpyoghunlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

2. Never gather eight moths near wells.

3. Hide if nine eagles approach from the east.

4. Retreat if three voles approach from the south.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.