Arfveenbim Bitdumwad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, charitable owl.

Arfveenbim Bitdumwad created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfveenbim Bitdumwad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Arfveenbim Bitdumwad, he will jump up and down on your head.

Arfveenbim Bitdumwad's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Arfveenbim Bitdumwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

2. Never touch water while blessed.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.