Nakcudbab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered whale.

Nakcudbab created snails three million years ago.

If you believe in Nakcudbab, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nakcudbab, it will turn you into a dog.

Nakcudbab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Nakcudbab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your face before prayer.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never mix pineapples with oil.