Fatvadfon is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, fast porpoise.

Fatvadfon created matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fatvadfon, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fatvadfon, it will turn you into a rat.

Fatvadfon's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Fatvadfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of secrets.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never speak at dusk.

5. Never skip in summer.