Dunmanloop is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, merciful centaur.

Dunmanloop created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dunmanloop, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dunmanloop, it will turn you into a dog.

Dunmanloop's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Dunmanloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always share bread with strangers, but never with manatees.

2. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

3. Never travel toward the west during spring.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Never gather seven pigs in one place.