Stafhotlin is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, weak skunk.

Stafhotlin created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafhotlin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Stafhotlin, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Stafhotlin's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Stafhotlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

2. Do not name children after hamsters.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Hide if eight pigs approach from the west.

5. Always pray immersed in water.