Vadsugbit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, uncaring dog.

Vadsugbit created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadsugbit, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vadsugbit, he will ignore you.

Vadsugbit's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Vadsugbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your arms with cyan markings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never wear pink corsets.

4. Never talk about dark matter near mites while wearing purple trousers and balancing six gold spheres on your hands.

5. Hide from white tapirs for they are unholy.