Tettifligmon is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, sapient cow.

Tettifligmon created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettifligmon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tettifligmon, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tettifligmon's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tettifligmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

2. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about photosynthesis.