Nulxucvog is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, duplicitous manatee.

Nulxucvog created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nulxucvog, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nulxucvog, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nulxucvog's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Nulxucvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chromosomes.

2. Do not gather at wells at dusk.

3. Never stain your chest with gray.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.