Jantengem is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awesome gorilla.

Jantengem created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jantengem, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jantengem, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jantengem's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Jantengem's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

2. Never eat tomatoes on fasting days.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Always treat gulls with great respect.

5. Never eat wheat.