Basttarg is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient ferret.

Basttarg created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Basttarg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Basttarg, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Basttarg's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Basttarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach rivers carrying clay.

2. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

3. Hide if nine snakes approach from the east.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.