Gofnarlmut is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind turtle.

Gofnarlmut created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofnarlmut, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofnarlmut, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gofnarlmut's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gofnarlmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not prepare beans while filled with joy.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Retreat if six doves approach from the north.