Rutkonfun is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, conceited goose.

Rutkonfun created Mount Everest three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutkonfun, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Rutkonfun, he will turn you into a tree.

Rutkonfun's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Rutkonfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention whales.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching tin.

3. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

4. Never wear fawn dresses on sacred days.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.