Janbeglog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, grumpy shrew.

Janbeglog created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Janbeglog, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Janbeglog, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Janbeglog's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Janbeglog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of rice to rats while wearing turquoise dresses.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always treat great tits with great respect.