Lanstafyak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional zebra.

Lanstafyak created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanstafyak, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lanstafyak, he will try to impress you with trees.

Lanstafyak's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Lanstafyak's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not kill aardvarks.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

4. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

5. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.