Mifarpcenjab is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unjust lobster.

Mifarpcenjab created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mifarpcenjab, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mifarpcenjab, it will turn you into a rock.

Mifarpcenjab's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Mifarpcenjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not gather at towers at midnight.

5. Do not shave your feet.