Pitrot is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, stupid zebra.

Pitrot created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pitrot, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pitrot, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Pitrot's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Pitrot's Holy Commandments

1. Always store strawberries above ground.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never sprint near swans.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed tomatoes to snakes while wearing brown shoes.