Rapcimpakgov is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, awe-inspiring walrus.

Rapcimpakgov created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rapcimpakgov, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rapcimpakgov, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Rapcimpakgov's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Rapcimpakgov's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

2. Never speak of order in the presence of priests.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.