Gepfadcem is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, generous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gepfadcem created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepfadcem, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gepfadcem, it will turn you into a duck.

Gepfadcem's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Gepfadcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black kilts.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. You must love Gepfadcem.

5. Never point your neck toward the south during prayer.