Flamcubgid is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, awesome wombat.

Flamcubgid created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamcubgid, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flamcubgid, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Flamcubgid's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Flamcubgid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never remain kneeling at midday.

5. Do not cook food in pots.