Joprotjad is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, capable ant.

Joprotjad created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Joprotjad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Joprotjad, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Joprotjad's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Joprotjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record signs concerning nebulae.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Never record names.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.