Stafxemaf is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, self-assured hummingbird.

Stafxemaf created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafxemaf, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stafxemaf, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Stafxemaf's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Stafxemaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility.

2. Never pray while filled with joy.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Never point your arms toward the north during prayer.

5. Never prepare lemons during spring.