Jamfobrat is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, humane pigeon.

Jamfobrat created the Andromeda Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Jamfobrat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jamfobrat, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Jamfobrat's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Jamfobrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

4. Never feed lots of carrots to grasshopers while wearing brown shorts.

5. Never hop in summer.