Cinquatsoggubbamnelcitfod Begbomgud is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, egotistical tapir.

Cinquatsoggubbamnelcitfod Begbomgud created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Cinquatsoggubbamnelcitfod Begbomgud, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cinquatsoggubbamnelcitfod Begbomgud, she will laugh at you.

Cinquatsoggubbamnelcitfod Begbomgud's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Cinquatsoggubbamnelcitfod Begbomgud's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cinquatsoggubbamnelcitfod Begbomgud.

2. Always maintain purity during holy days.

3. Run away from red mice, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about optics near moths while wearing purple tights and balancing eight silver spheres on your neck.

5. Never eat bark.