Fitkannuthudhon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, weak seal.

Fitkannuthudhon created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitkannuthudhon, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fitkannuthudhon, it will jump up and down on your head.

Fitkannuthudhon's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Fitkannuthudhon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five cats approach from the west.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Do not wear coats marked with green.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not speak about rice.