Nartgilwee is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, capable slug.

Nartgilwee created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartgilwee, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nartgilwee, it will send you a sign.

Nartgilwee's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Nartgilwee's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine copper sculptures of Nartgilwee on top of important buildings.

2. Never handle zinc while unclean.

3. Always store peanuts above ground.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Nartgilwee loves eagles, so they must be respected.