Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy rhinoceros.

Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis, he will destroy your home solar system.

Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis' most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple boots on sacred days.

2. Put Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis first in all things.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis in the centre of the settlement.