Tailbiftag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, awe-inspiring fly.

Tailbiftag created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailbiftag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tailbiftag, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tailbiftag's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tailbiftag's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never stain your back with magenta.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never adorn your hands with blue markings.