Xucjamsad is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-knowing duck.

Xucjamsad created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucjamsad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Xucjamsad, she will turn you into a dog.

Xucjamsad's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Xucjamsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near shrews while wearing brown dresses and balancing four silicon spheres on your legs.

2. Always share onions with strangers, but never with ants.

3. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Hamsters are not to be trusted.