Godquatjipbatmonwottin is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, kind deer.

Godquatjipbatmonwottin created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Godquatjipbatmonwottin, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Godquatjipbatmonwottin, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Godquatjipbatmonwottin's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Godquatjipbatmonwottin's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near snakes while wearing cyan dresses.

3. Never mix carrots with ash.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Always stare at clouds.