Stafsatben is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, cheerful cat.

Stafsatben created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafsatben, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Stafsatben, it will turn you into a rock.

Stafsatben's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Stafsatben's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow great tits to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

3. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not prepare wheat while wearing hats.