Tiksandwik is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, impressive capybara.

Tiksandwik created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiksandwik, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tiksandwik, it will turn you into a tree.

Tiksandwik's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tiksandwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill capybaras.

2. Never allow eagles to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never eat gooseberries.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near ducks while wearing pink tights and balancing seven titanium spheres on your hands.

5. Never fashion tools from clay.