Cubsidfem is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, selfish monkey.

Cubsidfem created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubsidfem, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cubsidfem, it will have a low opinion of you.

Cubsidfem's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Cubsidfem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Cubsidfem on top of all buildings.

2. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

4. Never go into cyan rooms.

5. Do not chop down trees.