Meg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, caring beaver.

Meg created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Meg, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Meg, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Meg's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Meg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never chant while facing south.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Heed all dreams.