Hognutortsoggarkarfossken is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful dragonfly.

Hognutortsoggarkarfossken created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hognutortsoggarkarfossken, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hognutortsoggarkarfossken, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Hognutortsoggarkarfossken's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hognutortsoggarkarfossken's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Retreat if three rats approach from the south.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.