Sawartbep is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, boastful armadillo.

Sawartbep created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawartbep, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sawartbep, he will curse you with boils.

Sawartbep's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Sawartbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always store aubergines above ground.

2. Never curse while facing west.

3. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

4. Never touch oil while unclean.

5. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Sawartbep in the centre of the settlement.