Cinmiggom Pomzogkim is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, almighty aardvark.

Cinmiggom Pomzogkim created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cinmiggom Pomzogkim, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cinmiggom Pomzogkim, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Cinmiggom Pomzogkim's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Cinmiggom Pomzogkim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five gold sculptures of Cinmiggom Pomzogkim on top of important buildings.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.